getting somewhere


Even when traveling with the cart, when there is no reason for hurry, still I have to remind myself. For a moment I stand still, breathing in and out, let my tummy relax-expand, let old habits fade away, reminding myself, I do not need to get anywhere.

The idea of getting somewhere is nested deep within me. It is the main drive-dictator-influencer of my movement (not just physical) throughout the day.

I remember, not so long ago, when I hiked that it was this same drive that send me from hut to hut. It seemed all about making it to the next stop. What if my movement through the day was not going to work according to the plan in my head? This can not be, let's​ walk a bit faster, let's have a smaller lunch break, let's take less photos, let's not explore this side track, let's (not) do this or that just to ensure the plan is realised.

This one belief-habit is a break on my playfulness-wondering-wandering-flexibility-easyness-curiosity-flowinglyness. It hinders life to throw in some interesting-surprising-fun-… experiences. It's the act of squeezing and holding onto an idea so tightly, of how it supposed to be, that I leave no room for anything else to happen outside my narrow frame of thinking. It makes for a dull and exhausting life.

Most of the times, it is still hard for me to recognise this drive and to jump out of it. But I'm trying. K is my inspiration for this. Life somehow moves around her. Good things happen to her, especially when she is traveling. She is carried in some way. I'd love to be more like her, hoping this whole cart thing brings me closer to that.